The irrelevance of the urban zebra

Like the road is meant for vehicles to drive on smoothly, ideally without being interrupted by encroachments and cattle and other such, there are certain sections of the road which are meant for pedestrians (people who walk beside or across roads, for the uninitiated motorists of our nation) to cross the road. These are (rather unsurprisingly) called Pedestrian Crossings and are marked on the road in wide, white stripes marked from one side of the road to the other. Due to the whiteness of said stripes on a tarred road these tend to look like zebra stripes and are therefore also known as Zebra Crossings.

Harking back to the social studies classes in primary school, we were taught to cross the road only at these designated spots. Presumably because these are crossings for pedestrians to cross safely, where they have the right of way, where they will not get run over by vehicles. But at the rate at which these crossings are becoming irrelevant, the guidelines for crossing roads in India should probably run along the lines of: 

If you are trying to cross at a pedestrian crossing:

1. Look to your right (for vehicles coming from your right side, which are following dutifully, the rule of driving on the left side of the road)
2. Look to the left, not only to check if traffic coming from the opposite direction is clear, but also for numbskulls on a collision course with those described in point 1
3. Look behind you, for the person on a two wheeler who is trying to use the pedestrian crossing to drive across the road and execute a U-turn. 
4. Look around you, checking for the necessary numbers of fellow pedestrians for the moral support you need to cross the road and avoid being run over by those described in point 1 and 2. 
5. Pray to whichever higher power you subscribe to and start crossing. Be prepared to do some dodging between cars and bikes, and turn a deaf ear to the onslaught of honking you will be subject to. 
6. Run, because that sarkaari bus, taxi, car, bike or whatever manner of vehicle equipped with an engine, and with a licensed driver at the wheel will most likely have forgotten the fact that he or she has unrestricted access to that magical device called the brake, or is constitutionally incapable of applying it when they should. 
7. Once safely across, mutter a word of thanks to the higher power referred to in point 5. 
8. Repeat, when you have to cross back. 

I probably should not give you guidelines to cross the road where there is not pedestrian crossing, you know, because jaywalking. But since motorists these days don't care about pedestrian crossings, either of two must be the case: 

1. Pedestrian crossings have ceased to exist in spirit
2. The entire road is the pedestrian crossing

In either of the above 2 cases, any guidelines for pedestrians is irrelevant. 

It's all very well for the traffic police to insist, in all good faith, that pedestrians use the pedestrian crossing to cross roads, but clearly that's not solving any problems pertaining to pedestrian related accidents. 

Enough ranting for now. I will, as I currently do, continue to stop my car at pedestrian crossings and let people cross, and savour the impatient and outraged honking from the vehicles behind me with righteously sadistic relish.