garage blues

hey folks..

this is an article i'd written for durga pooja souvenier.. trivandrum bengali association.. note.. its a real life exp.. here goes..

Garage Blues

Having visitors is always interesting. I put it as interesting because one can never classify them under one adjective, hence the general term. They could be fun, they could be talkative, exciting, friendly, boring, sleepy, smart, jovial, formal, quiet, fidgety, noisy and sometimes musical. However, the other day, I realized that the above set of adjectives was kind of incomplete. It is rather trying to assign an adjective to the experience, hence I am going to narrate the events of that fine sunny Saturday morning.

Nine am found me in the garage busy wiping off the dust the car had collected over the last week or so. Baba and Didu were checking out channel DD7 Bangla, Ma was just cleaning up after breakfast. That was when the visitor turned up. I was the first to receive him, or perhaps I should say, it. It came slithering in under the garage door, with two dogs and five puppies after it, and made for my bicycle, which was also in the garage. I have remembered from childhood this basic procedure to follow in times of crisis, which is to keep one's cool and not panic at any cost. This is precisely what I did while trying to distance myself from the guest and alerting the folks. That is to say, I jumped on top of the car, and yelled at the top of my lungs, "snake, snake!" That, as you might have anticipated, was more than sufficient to get the household on their toes, rouse the neighbours, and dent the roof of the car.

I remember reading somewhere, that a good writer always gives his or her readers a bird's eye's view of the proceedings, even though majority of these readers are not birds, by any stretch of imagination. Never mind, this is what the garage looked like two minutes later:

The dogs which were chasing the reptilian visitor were now engaged in barking their heads off at it and at the same time were trying to keep the puppies away from it, possibly explaining to them in barks that snakes are dangerous. The snake had taken refuge behind the rear wheel of the bicycle and was standing its ground bravely, although confronted with seven dogs and as many humans. Baba had picked up a relatively long haata (serving spoon) and was standing outside the garage. Didu was trying to convince Baba from behind that a haata was no weapon to use against a five foot long snake and at the same time trying to explain to us how garlic can be used to keep snakes away. Passers by had stopped in their tracks and had joined the audience, which was growing in size by the minute. Ma was shouting at me from the other side of the gate, over the din of the barking dogs, asking me to come out of the garage and asking Didu to stay indoors, and I, as you already know was perched on top of the car, taking in the rare sight of a snake and seven dogs having a shouting match, the latter having the upper hand obviously.

Help soon arrived in the form of three labourers who offered their services in relieving us of the snake. They gathered long sticks (definitely more effective than a 'haata') and advanced cautiously into the garage. I could not but help thinking of the snake's predicament. What if I had been in its place?!?! Being faced with seven barking dogs, with nine people peering at you over a wall, plus three men approaching you armed with long sticks are undoubtedly signs that things are not going too well for you. Had I been the snake, I would have legged it and looked for refuge more reliable than the rear wheel of a bicycle. This is precisely what the snake did. It found an opening and deftly slid through, and into our underground water sump. The three labourers, not to be deterred found longer sticks and began fishing in the water. After a good deal of 'fishing' they managed to extract the snake from its watery asylum and disposed of it in a nearby pond. They then informed us that the snake was a harmless specimen called chera which lives largely on rats and frogs.

Then of course, it was paytime. The three labourers demanded a sum that would do justice to their efforts. Needless to say, in their eyes, not even the most impossible of sums settled by us would seem to suffice. They argued saying if we didn't pay up to their amount, they wouldn’t come to help anymore even if our house was festooned with snakes. Baba, bargaining for all he was worth reasoned with them saying the snake did not belong to us and that it was still at large! The scene got pretty amusing in the end and soon the little party was laughing heartily! The meeting eventually dispersed on cordial terms.

Harmless or not harmless, you will agree that our visitor de reptilia certainly gave us an eventful morning! Right. So where was I? Yes! My list of adjectives for describing visitors is kind of incomplete. Whether I can find one to describe that morning or not is anybody's guess, I think...

haata - serving spoon/ladle
baba - bangla for father
didu - bangla for grandmother