A few things worth banning

With all these recent bans flying all over the place and the associated social ills, unrest and resentment I was pondering over what sort of bans could actually be of some genuine use to the people. Mostly thinking from common sense, here's my list in no particular order:


Ban "election based progress" and election time based maneuvers: Every time elections are 'around the corner' ruling parties spring into agile mode, roads become ship shape, fuel prices come down, flyovers which were incomplete dust bowls become swanky and shiny and complete overnight, possibly with a view keeping the good work in recent public memory. Ban this immediately. Work done by a party in power should be evaluated on how they performed throughout those 5 years and not just before election time.

Ban election campaigns based on personal attacks: In election rallies, politicians of late have gotten into unbridled personal attacks. Almost the entire 2014 parliamentary election was fought on the basis of who could insult whom more. None of that bit of discourse did anything to revive my faith in political leaders. Not much was seen from any party or reported in terms of what agenda the vying parties had in store. One particular candidate left his wife decades ago. Another has 2 or 3 wives, or whatever. Their personal life is none of mine or your or anybody's business. What matters is what they have to offer in terms of their political will and leadership in leading this country; can we focus on that for heaven's sake?

Ban TRPs: In the race for TRPs, news channels have begun passing off utter bullshit in the name of prime time and other time 'news'. The famed News Hour for example adds no value or meaning to my life whatsoever. 5 minutes of watching ArGo scream at his guests followed by switching off the TV yields an incredible sense of peace in the house. Then there's the habit these channels have of latching on to anything sensational and forgetting about the real issues that people in power should be held accountable for. Let's ban the basis for TV ratings that cause them to go down this route in the first place. Can we find an alternative to needing this TRP business?

Ban religion based politics: Ban politics and political groups whose purpose of existence is based on any particular religion. Thinking from a secular (and not pseudo-secular or sickular, whatever the fuck that means) point of view, should a country that calls itself a secular republic have political parties that strive for power on the basis of religion? I don't think so. Parties should be banned from attempting to gather votes on the basis of religious sentiments. It should be the job of ALL parties to ensure that in general religious sentiments of the masses are taken care of in their agenda and focus their high spirited behaviour towards things that will actually improve the lot of people. So, away with polarizing people on the lines of religion, away with minority appeasement, away with election agendas which have anything to do with religion. Religion is a personal matter and it should stay that way. Keep it clean and out of politics please. No one should use the influence of something as personal as God and Religion to further their political goals. The only thing we gain from this is further dividing ourselves and hating each other.

Ban political rallies on roads: Book a public ground or park/maidaan etc to hold election rallies. Please don't do it on roads and other essential public places. One cannot truly win the support of people by blocking traffic for 2 to 3 hours. This goes for VIP culture as well, what with ministers blocking traffic for ages in the name of protocol.

Ban moral policing: Anything that takes away personal liberty including moral policing needs to go too. We don't live in the times when it was a crime to look at the princess travelling in a palanquin or it was illegal to walk on the same sidewalk which was bring used by a British national. We are a free country now, and people should be left in peace unless they are breaking the law of course. A couple walking down a street holding hands doesn't make me slap my forehead in shame. Some one bullying them, does.

Ban littering / excreting in public: Referring to the recent urban adage, 'it is not ok to kiss in public, but it's perfectly fine to piss in public', littering and urinating in public are unhygienic and disgusting to say in the least, and should be on the top of the things that need to be removed from the afore mentioned 'personal liberties'. A suggestion: what if our moral police 'forces' focused their attention towards addressing this problem and bring an end to gutters stagnant with rubbish, stinking walls and streets reeking of piss, paan stained walls, and so on? And instead of hiding behind the standard response of blaming the government for lack of toilets, pressurize them to start building more toilets. Ones which work!

So much for a late night rant, and a wishlist for something that will probably never happen. Still, freedom of expression and all that, yes?

The irrelevance of the urban zebra

Like the road is meant for vehicles to drive on smoothly, ideally without being interrupted by encroachments and cattle and other such, there are certain sections of the road which are meant for pedestrians (people who walk beside or across roads, for the uninitiated motorists of our nation) to cross the road. These are (rather unsurprisingly) called Pedestrian Crossings and are marked on the road in wide, white stripes marked from one side of the road to the other. Due to the whiteness of said stripes on a tarred road these tend to look like zebra stripes and are therefore also known as Zebra Crossings.

Harking back to the social studies classes in primary school, we were taught to cross the road only at these designated spots. Presumably because these are crossings for pedestrians to cross safely, where they have the right of way, where they will not get run over by vehicles. But at the rate at which these crossings are becoming irrelevant, the guidelines for crossing roads in India should probably run along the lines of: 

If you are trying to cross at a pedestrian crossing:

1. Look to your right (for vehicles coming from your right side, which are following dutifully, the rule of driving on the left side of the road)
2. Look to the left, not only to check if traffic coming from the opposite direction is clear, but also for numbskulls on a collision course with those described in point 1
3. Look behind you, for the person on a two wheeler who is trying to use the pedestrian crossing to drive across the road and execute a U-turn. 
4. Look around you, checking for the necessary numbers of fellow pedestrians for the moral support you need to cross the road and avoid being run over by those described in point 1 and 2. 
5. Pray to whichever higher power you subscribe to and start crossing. Be prepared to do some dodging between cars and bikes, and turn a deaf ear to the onslaught of honking you will be subject to. 
6. Run, because that sarkaari bus, taxi, car, bike or whatever manner of vehicle equipped with an engine, and with a licensed driver at the wheel will most likely have forgotten the fact that he or she has unrestricted access to that magical device called the brake, or is constitutionally incapable of applying it when they should. 
7. Once safely across, mutter a word of thanks to the higher power referred to in point 5. 
8. Repeat, when you have to cross back. 

I probably should not give you guidelines to cross the road where there is not pedestrian crossing, you know, because jaywalking. But since motorists these days don't care about pedestrian crossings, either of two must be the case: 

1. Pedestrian crossings have ceased to exist in spirit
2. The entire road is the pedestrian crossing

In either of the above 2 cases, any guidelines for pedestrians is irrelevant. 

It's all very well for the traffic police to insist, in all good faith, that pedestrians use the pedestrian crossing to cross roads, but clearly that's not solving any problems pertaining to pedestrian related accidents. 

Enough ranting for now. I will, as I currently do, continue to stop my car at pedestrian crossings and let people cross, and savour the impatient and outraged honking from the vehicles behind me with righteously sadistic relish.